Windhaven Hill, You Suck

Dear Hill on Windhaven,

I hate you. That’s right, I completely loath your existence and what you did to me yesterday. Riding towards the end of my run, and there you were. Staring at me like a mafia boss who knows I cannot pay him. Standing there like Drago staring at Rocky saying “I will break you”. What you did I can never have back.

So as I attempted to ride up you, I found my heart beating so fast I knew a heart-attack was imminent. Heart beating fast, legs aching, head swimming. I knew my day was done when as I was pumping heart, in hopes of moving, a 100lb woman came peddling past me. Passing me with nice speed, she rode off with my balls and whatever testosterone they had left went with them. So sucked it up and did what I knew I had to do…I stop. Panting so heart, I simply had to drop my heart rate for a minute or two. You did this Windhaven Hill, yes you. You stripped me of my manhood.

After gaining my breath, I finished you…feeling better. Climbed to the top sore muscles, achy head, and a heart that was cursing me…I finally beat you. Then spat on your crest…that’s how much I hate you. I hate you. But you had the last laugh, hill…as you smugly grinned when I realized at you high peak that I had chosen a route that pitted me against the wind the entire ride back. I saw you gloat…and it didn’t phase me.

Until next time. I will be ready then. I will know what I need to do prior to our meeting. I will be prepared…and when that day comes. You watch yourself Hill…you watch it long, and watch it hard. Because I coming after you…and you…will…not…defeat me. Fear me, Hill…fear me.

I love cycling…

(This hill really kicked my butt, as you can see in the image with my low speed, low cadence, and massively high heart rate.)